Relationship Abundance

Happened to meet a dreamy eyed 20 something girl yesterday and in one of our casual conversations happened to ask her what is the next big thing in her life that she is looking forward to. The dreams and aspirations of people say so much about them; their hopes; their beliefs and their lives in general and I wanted to connect with her hopes and beliefs at the level of her dreams then.

She mentioned that the next big thing that she is dreaming about is finding her knight in shining armor.  Someone who she can complete; some who can complete her and fulfill the little void that life has naturally brought in her.  She seemed quite sure that every life has some void and we always long for someone; a companion in the journey who will mend the broken pieces and put our life together in its totality for us.

And that got me thinking – Is it always so? Is that the most logical way to approach any relationship? With a lens of its ability to complete something or mend something.  Can it just not be about two complete people coming together and enhancing each other’s life beyond their current boundaries of totality and completeness; complimenting each other and discovering aspects of themselves that they didn’t know before meeting each other. Or can it be about shifting perspectives from mending something to enriching something that is already so beautiful?

Often, I meet people who look at the other from the ‘Deficit’ perspective.  What do I lack that this person can fulfill? The deficit in me needs completion and therefore is the other person capable of completing that deficit?  Similarly; what is the deficit zone of the other person that I can potentially fill up and therefore each time an ideal relationship is defined from the perspective of that deficiency.  Here is an alternative; change the lens from Deficit to Abundance. I am abundant in love; peace; in my dreams; hopes and ambitions and I allow others to contribute to that abundance.  The relationships that I invite add more to already that is abundant and therefore what comes out of it, as a result, is something that is way more fulfilling, positive and enriching. My all-time favorite belief is ‘Life is a mirror’, what you hold in yourself; you will see in others.  If you hold abundance; you will attract more of it. Can you, then, hold that abundant mindset in you and in the relationships and navigate life’s hurdles; opportunities; joys and love with that mindset?  Feel the presence of other person as the wind beneath your wings, explore possibilities that are grander than your current consciousness and in that mindset bring out the best in you; bring out the best in them and always be the best possible versions of yourselves.